Block84.com - Lifestyle is a terrible thing to waste.

Okay I want to continue on from last week’s post on social dynamics. In the month of March I had four different people ask me for advice on where to go on a first date. That is a really hard question to answer because it depends on a couple of variables such as: how long have you known each other for? Did you meet through a friend? Did you meet online? All of these will contribute to determining the best location to have your date. I always suggest a group dynamic as that allows other people to fill in gaps of awkward silence, or possibly a comedy club, let someone else make her laugh for a bit. But if you feel confident in your conversation skills then by all means go for the one on one. But that is not what this post is about!

The best advice I can give on first dates is this: Stop by your place before you do anything else.

It doesn’t have to be long, in fact I would suggest you make it no longer than 5-10 minutes. Just long enough for her to scope out your place and conclude that it isn’t creepy or you aren’t a slob. If you are a slob, then clean up your damn place. If you have a dog then let her play with him/her for a bit, this is huge! Don’t stay for drink or anything, you don’t want it to seem like you asked her over so you can just get straight to business and forget about the date.

So how do you get her to agree to stop by first?! Here is it. “Why don’t you stop by my place and we can leave together, I’ll drive.” This allows her some independance of driving halfway to your place, but she also will enjoy your initiative to drive. You won’t believe how many girls complain to me that they have to drive their boyfriends around.

Once your date is underway you two are attached for the remainder, so wherever you go next (for a drink, or a bite, back home, etc.) you’re going together. At the end of the night, you have to go back to your place. You don’t even need to talk about it; it’s obvious and assumed. After all, her car is there. It is then up to you to ask her in. Prepare your reasons for inviting her in before hand. It might be a good idea to invite her in on the pretense that she can only stay for a few minutes because YOU are busy tomorrow.

CAUTION: You really need to have a good feel for attraction and comfort levels if you want to elevate the physicality of the relationship.

I honestly believe that you need to spend at least 6-8 hours together before you do the dance. If you go for the early lead-off then you probably won’t be back at the plate. Female psychology will lead towards the “one night stand” mentality and there is all these stigmas that arise out of the situation. If you give it a bit more time then you are setting yourself up for longterm hookup ability.

Having said that, maybe you should attempt to do a group date one night (bowling for a couple hours), THEN you have your one-on-one date where all of this can apply. Two dates might not be enough, but with this advice you are setting yourself up as best you can.

~Richie C.

If you enjoyed this post, I have a ton more coming just like it. Maybe you should consider subscribing to our RSS Feed.